The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
