he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
