You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
