my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize