Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
