11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
wow bdsm is so cute
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
