he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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