This is not my ceiling
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
