grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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