Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
