this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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