just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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