He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
