We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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