I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
