yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize