did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize