At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
