thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is it because I queefed?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
