Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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