i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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