Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize