i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
