Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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