Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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