There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
