I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
