I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
