I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
