"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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