ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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