Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
