she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I don't deserve a penis
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
