Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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