shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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