New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
