Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
