Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Randomize
