Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
