It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
