pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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