Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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