No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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