In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
