if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
