and you said cock pushups were impossible
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
