Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
