I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
