you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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