we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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