He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
is it fun? or sober?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
