Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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