It's like God shit irony all over that family
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
