Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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