Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
