I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize