Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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