Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
