What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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