So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize