theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
