i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
