So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
