the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
