So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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