Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
